Haircutting and alcohol don't mix. Not even a little bit.
Words to remember...
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Weekly Menus
I am turning this blog into not only an online confessional, but a permanent, voyeur's view into my daily, crabbity life. Lucky for you, n'est pas?
Every Sunday, I try like heck to get all the loose ends of daily life tied up so I'll be prepared for the week ahead. You know, laundry put off till the last minute (folded when icy cold-- we like the dishevled look in our family. An employer once asked if I knew how to work an iron. I don't. Some of us are also not big on combing hair, which is always a great combination with wrinkly clothes: I am forever telling the children that if this keeps up, the church will be taking secret collections to buy our poor, unfortunate family clothing and hair brushes. The kids think that would be cool, however, so the threats have fallen on deaf ears. ), backpacks unearthed and their contents examined (only to discover homework at 9pm Sunday night-- whoopsie. We're generally not great scholars, either.), etc and etc. So now is the time I am (avoiding) getting the Everyday Food mags together to select a nutritious and tasty foods for my beloved family (gag! What the hell kind of word is "tasty", anyway? Kindof gives me the creeps)
So here goes:
Monday (night of chaos. I'm never sure what time I'll get home from work, thanks to BS add ons and the disappearing act of the incredible miss K) Grace has musical practice, Jacob has swim class (yes, we are marginal participators in the modern-day cult of "Family Busy-Ness". But only one day of the week. Any more, and my strong slacker-mom instincts would kick in and that wouls be the end of that.): Slacker mom special-- Mufaletta sandwich with sweet potato fries
Tuesday: (working blissful new job; should be home by 4:45 at latest, praise sweet Jesus!): light chicken parmesan, with whole wheat spaghetti/garlic oil/peas
Wednesday: OFF!!! pork cutlets with baby green beans and sauteed red potatoes
Thursday: (work at AHC-K, should be home after 6 Hubby has archery) Jake make something (?)
Friday: (new job, home around 4:45) maybe I'll make Tom Kha Gai (chicken coconut soup) with jasmine rice. Yum!
It's a start... now, to shopping:
Every Sunday, I try like heck to get all the loose ends of daily life tied up so I'll be prepared for the week ahead. You know, laundry put off till the last minute (folded when icy cold-- we like the dishevled look in our family. An employer once asked if I knew how to work an iron. I don't. Some of us are also not big on combing hair, which is always a great combination with wrinkly clothes: I am forever telling the children that if this keeps up, the church will be taking secret collections to buy our poor, unfortunate family clothing and hair brushes. The kids think that would be cool, however, so the threats have fallen on deaf ears. ), backpacks unearthed and their contents examined (only to discover homework at 9pm Sunday night-- whoopsie. We're generally not great scholars, either.), etc and etc. So now is the time I am (avoiding) getting the Everyday Food mags together to select a nutritious and tasty foods for my beloved family (gag! What the hell kind of word is "tasty", anyway? Kindof gives me the creeps)
So here goes:
Monday (night of chaos. I'm never sure what time I'll get home from work, thanks to BS add ons and the disappearing act of the incredible miss K) Grace has musical practice, Jacob has swim class (yes, we are marginal participators in the modern-day cult of "Family Busy-Ness". But only one day of the week. Any more, and my strong slacker-mom instincts would kick in and that wouls be the end of that.): Slacker mom special-- Mufaletta sandwich with sweet potato fries
Tuesday: (working blissful new job; should be home by 4:45 at latest, praise sweet Jesus!): light chicken parmesan, with whole wheat spaghetti/garlic oil/peas
Wednesday: OFF!!! pork cutlets with baby green beans and sauteed red potatoes
Thursday: (work at AHC-K, should be home after 6 Hubby has archery) Jake make something (?)
Friday: (new job, home around 4:45) maybe I'll make Tom Kha Gai (chicken coconut soup) with jasmine rice. Yum!
It's a start... now, to shopping:
On-Line Confessional
I am so completely glad to be off this weekend! And with the addition of the new coffee maker, and the fact that I'm probably getting over whatever virus du jour, I've been pretty awake for most of the time. I think I fell asleep at 7 or 8 on Friday, but mostly it was 'cause there wasn't anything better to be doing.
I've been feeling rather contemplative (hence the tons of posts) in my new alertness, and am trying to make sense of things while I have the chance (before the fog sets in again-- maybe I need to cut back on my drinking?). I am not in any way regretting not working on weekends, and although I loved being home during the day, I really wasn't thrilled to be working in the evenings, especially if I had to work early the next day. I went for weeks being absolutely drained, exhausted, and in full-out survival mode-- which is probably why, now that I'm slowing down, I've completely crashed. It was great to get some bills paid, esp after those evil, dreadfully $$ holidays, but I couldn't keep that pace up forever. My husband works 6 days a week, why should I work a crash and burn schedule as well? Someone's got to keep the home fires burning, and in my absence the whole household falls apart (nobody eats, cleans, nothing gets done, until I get a few hours off to clean the whole damn mess. Women's Liberation be damned! When moms work, they mostly just get screwed.)
I would like to work just enough to have funds to pay the household bills (+/- $1500 month), and have some left over to play with, maybe take a decent vacation (notice I said DECENT. None of this BS camping, boating or other such tortures. I want a nice hotel with a pool, bar, etc, adjacent to entertainment such as the symphony, music halls, parks, art, shopping, tours, etc. I'd really like to go to Austin, TX and Hawaii, and possibly Northern California sometime soon... hubby wants to spend $1200 and 10 hours of ass numbing driving to spend a dull week on a HOUSEBOAT. Blech. So I get to spend a week of no paid vacation cooking and cleaning and swatting bugs while the guys go off fishing, leaving me many more fun hours of ass sitting, doing nothing. Oh joy of joys, could it really be true? Or is it just another dismal nightmare of inactivity I get to endure (I hate HATE sitting doing nothing. Dinking away at this computer is about as inactive as I can stand, which is why I don't do it very often. I can't even watch TV or movies, as I can't stand sitting there, even for an hour show)
Anyhoo, so I'm a bad wife... let this be a lesson to you young, single ladies out there-- opposites might attract, but plan on a life of angst if you are a goer and your mate is a sitter (I remember dragging his putzy rear thru Disney World. He wanted to waltz slooooooowly thru the park, while I wanted to race to the next ride. I ended up missing the opp to ride on Space Mountain 'cause I couldn't get that guy to step it up a little. I have absolutely *no* problem with spouses taking separate vacations-- esp when you have to pay to drag the slow boats around with you everywhere. My next Disney vacation, I'm going alone!) Personally, I think the guys should take their vacation by themselves, and the girls will go to Disney-- I'll have to fly that one by the guys, but I doubt it'll work. I think they want some payback for being dragged thru Disney...
I've been feeling rather contemplative (hence the tons of posts) in my new alertness, and am trying to make sense of things while I have the chance (before the fog sets in again-- maybe I need to cut back on my drinking?). I am not in any way regretting not working on weekends, and although I loved being home during the day, I really wasn't thrilled to be working in the evenings, especially if I had to work early the next day. I went for weeks being absolutely drained, exhausted, and in full-out survival mode-- which is probably why, now that I'm slowing down, I've completely crashed. It was great to get some bills paid, esp after those evil, dreadfully $$ holidays, but I couldn't keep that pace up forever. My husband works 6 days a week, why should I work a crash and burn schedule as well? Someone's got to keep the home fires burning, and in my absence the whole household falls apart (nobody eats, cleans, nothing gets done, until I get a few hours off to clean the whole damn mess. Women's Liberation be damned! When moms work, they mostly just get screwed.)
I would like to work just enough to have funds to pay the household bills (+/- $1500 month), and have some left over to play with, maybe take a decent vacation (notice I said DECENT. None of this BS camping, boating or other such tortures. I want a nice hotel with a pool, bar, etc, adjacent to entertainment such as the symphony, music halls, parks, art, shopping, tours, etc. I'd really like to go to Austin, TX and Hawaii, and possibly Northern California sometime soon... hubby wants to spend $1200 and 10 hours of ass numbing driving to spend a dull week on a HOUSEBOAT. Blech. So I get to spend a week of no paid vacation cooking and cleaning and swatting bugs while the guys go off fishing, leaving me many more fun hours of ass sitting, doing nothing. Oh joy of joys, could it really be true? Or is it just another dismal nightmare of inactivity I get to endure (I hate HATE sitting doing nothing. Dinking away at this computer is about as inactive as I can stand, which is why I don't do it very often. I can't even watch TV or movies, as I can't stand sitting there, even for an hour show)
Anyhoo, so I'm a bad wife... let this be a lesson to you young, single ladies out there-- opposites might attract, but plan on a life of angst if you are a goer and your mate is a sitter (I remember dragging his putzy rear thru Disney World. He wanted to waltz slooooooowly thru the park, while I wanted to race to the next ride. I ended up missing the opp to ride on Space Mountain 'cause I couldn't get that guy to step it up a little. I have absolutely *no* problem with spouses taking separate vacations-- esp when you have to pay to drag the slow boats around with you everywhere. My next Disney vacation, I'm going alone!) Personally, I think the guys should take their vacation by themselves, and the girls will go to Disney-- I'll have to fly that one by the guys, but I doubt it'll work. I think they want some payback for being dragged thru Disney...
Well Caffeinated
Yum! The espresso maker I specifically asked for (i.e. as in "there's one espresso maker left on the shelf at WalMart. Get there soon 'cause that's what I want for my birthday.") is an amazing addition to my daily routine. My kids are even getting addicted to it-- my 9 year old wanders about the house in the morning with his cafe latte, looking oh so sophisticated (and then he flies about the house like a crazed boy, high on caffeine, for the rest of the morn). I'm trying to remember what my mom said about kids and caffeine-- was it that it stunted your growth, or gave you chest hair? I can't remember. Either way, the kids are likely doomed to be goofy like their mom.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Birthday Blowoff
Bleah. Thursday was my 37th birthday.
I got a call from one of my (3) sisters, a call from my mom, and a visit from my stepdaughter, boyfriend, and grandbaby (which was really the nicest, and most unexpected gift of all). I also had the pleasure of dealing with unnecessary drama from my co-worker (see previous post), and spent the day in a sleepy, depressed haze.
Husband made great promises of (finally!) throwing me a birthday party after 12 years together, but he slacked and bungled it royally-- and long story short, there was no party. Every guest that was called was ultimately contacted by me, some only a couple days before the event-- most couldn't come, nothing was planned-- (except that he chose to work the morning of the so called party, so I had to *plan* to do all the cleaning, shopping, and preparation. Happy fucking birthday, indeed). I called the whole embarassing event off the day before, since it would only have made me even more bummed out, cleaning and cooking my butt off all Saturday only to culminate in a lame, poorly planned party with one or two people there. Wah.
On an even sadder note, Hubby made a bold dash to the WalMart at 10pm the night before my birthday (at my daughter's insistence. Otherwise there would have been nothing), and bought the exact one thing I asked for (unwrapped), and my daughter had to steer him away yet again from the ugly, smelly mums I have repeatedly told him you only buy for old people you really don't want to ever have sex with. WTF? One time, my guy made the colossal error of sharing the (probably universal, stupid man secret) that he can't *ahem* get excited about me without visual aids of much bustier and cuter (airbrushed, computer edited) ladies. After telling him what a grave error he committed against the delicate feminine psyche, I instructed him (yes, instructed--he's pretty clueless. He needs to be directed, step by step, preferrably with list in hand. Pictures help, too, but not always, poor bastard) that flowers might help the forgiveness process (duh!). We still weren't speaking when the man eventually presented me with a $2.99 grocery store bunch of hideous brownish mums. BROWN MUMS?!?!? He's lucky to have ever gotten laid since. Truly.
Anyway: the coffee maker was from the kids, and his gift to me was a card (a stupid one, too), which said :"good for one shopping spree". Huh? WTF is that? I once rented a park, called about 30 of his friends, and had catered food and games, music, etc for one of his birthday parties. And he *still* received a proper gift, no doubt. But those days are looooong gone.
I think what threw the poor man was that I didn't want him to invite any of HIS friends and their wives, longtime work friends we really haven't seen or hung out with in years, so he was really put out.
Ohwell, I'm older now-- that part was successful.
But enough of my self indulgent whining; time to get to the library before they close. I've got the explorer version of Rosetta Stone waiting for me, and I'm really looking forward to trying it.
I got a call from one of my (3) sisters, a call from my mom, and a visit from my stepdaughter, boyfriend, and grandbaby (which was really the nicest, and most unexpected gift of all). I also had the pleasure of dealing with unnecessary drama from my co-worker (see previous post), and spent the day in a sleepy, depressed haze.
Husband made great promises of (finally!) throwing me a birthday party after 12 years together, but he slacked and bungled it royally-- and long story short, there was no party. Every guest that was called was ultimately contacted by me, some only a couple days before the event-- most couldn't come, nothing was planned-- (except that he chose to work the morning of the so called party, so I had to *plan* to do all the cleaning, shopping, and preparation. Happy fucking birthday, indeed). I called the whole embarassing event off the day before, since it would only have made me even more bummed out, cleaning and cooking my butt off all Saturday only to culminate in a lame, poorly planned party with one or two people there. Wah.
On an even sadder note, Hubby made a bold dash to the WalMart at 10pm the night before my birthday (at my daughter's insistence. Otherwise there would have been nothing), and bought the exact one thing I asked for (unwrapped), and my daughter had to steer him away yet again from the ugly, smelly mums I have repeatedly told him you only buy for old people you really don't want to ever have sex with. WTF? One time, my guy made the colossal error of sharing the (probably universal, stupid man secret) that he can't *ahem* get excited about me without visual aids of much bustier and cuter (airbrushed, computer edited) ladies. After telling him what a grave error he committed against the delicate feminine psyche, I instructed him (yes, instructed--he's pretty clueless. He needs to be directed, step by step, preferrably with list in hand. Pictures help, too, but not always, poor bastard) that flowers might help the forgiveness process (duh!). We still weren't speaking when the man eventually presented me with a $2.99 grocery store bunch of hideous brownish mums. BROWN MUMS?!?!? He's lucky to have ever gotten laid since. Truly.
Anyway: the coffee maker was from the kids, and his gift to me was a card (a stupid one, too), which said :"good for one shopping spree". Huh? WTF is that? I once rented a park, called about 30 of his friends, and had catered food and games, music, etc for one of his birthday parties. And he *still* received a proper gift, no doubt. But those days are looooong gone.
I think what threw the poor man was that I didn't want him to invite any of HIS friends and their wives, longtime work friends we really haven't seen or hung out with in years, so he was really put out.
Ohwell, I'm older now-- that part was successful.
But enough of my self indulgent whining; time to get to the library before they close. I've got the explorer version of Rosetta Stone waiting for me, and I'm really looking forward to trying it.
snow Snow SNOW!
We're expected to get lots and lots of snow today, which I suppose is ok. I have to connect with the notion that the winter is ALMOST over (thank thank thank GOD!), and spring is nearly on its way-- so I have to keep telling myself that the snow is a temporary novelty; pretty, fluffy, and the last remaining illusion of a fleeting season (wahoo!).
Winter normally drains every last ounce of humanity from me-- generally, I make all sorts of terrible, rash decisions round about now (i..e. pull the kids out of school, put the kids back in school, quit jobs, etc and etc. And it's not nearly the fact that they aren't always the best decisions, but usually the methods I employ are what's regrettable. 'Nuff said). Pharmacologically speaking, I've been well armed this year to keep myself from jumping off the deep end, and I've done ok. Sometimes I do wonder why so much stupid BS happens this time of year (everyone else in the region losing their minds and behaving badly? Probably..) My co-worker at one of my many jobs has been driving me up a tree for really most of the time I've worked with her-- and I do wholeheartedly acknowledge that she is out of her gourd, which is sad (for her, and for everyone around her, unfortunately). But she has been such a royal PITA this past week (on my BIRTHDAY no less), flying off the handle for no apparent reason and not telling what the trouble is (yet feeling compelled to share the info with the boss-- I HATEHATEHATE that crybaby nonsense. Be adult enough to tell a co worker what's going on so it can be rectified directly, instead of running off to tattle. I still have no idea what happened in the rampant hallucinations of her angry mind...)
Anyhoo: it's all well and good that I'm being run off, in the grand scheme of things. I wasn't told in the beginning that I would be expected to work Saturdays (with absolutely no help around. I have no trouble working a weekend now and again, but the safety issue really gets to me), do chemo (with poor folks who so far haven't spoken anything close to english: not even a "no hablo espanol". So far, it's been "no hablo armenian or hmong"-- and I can't come even an iota close to faking my way through THOSE languages. Yeesh.) I'd have to place PICC lines (no freaking way. I see how traumatized those gals look when they come back from putting those monstrosities in), and this constant crazy day shuffling, as if I can't ever know more than a day (hours) in advance whether or not I'll be victim to K's "leaving early today" with no notice (and I seem to keep getting in trouble for that, which is total BS.)
I really like my new position and am looking forward to seeing if they will be able to offer me the .6 position that just came up, but I'm really hoping the "kiss of death" legacy of mine of getting wonderful jobs, only to find they are doomed (through no fault of my own-- really) ends with this Kenosha job.
(case in point, a brief History: All Saints job-- two bosses quit in the months following my hire, and all hell breaks loose. I still have nightmares about that job, where I completely lost my Mojo, which I have spent the past several years trying to recover. fruitlessly.
GTC job: wonderful boss I took the job to work with retires the week before my hire (unbekownst to me). Pandemonium ensues, and morale is shot to hell. Everyone is miserable. Racine AHC: love love love my new job, training is going well on first shift with Wonderful Doc. Soon discover that Wonderful Doc doesn't work the shifts I'll ultimately end up working (weekends, evenings, holidays. Suckity suck enough...), and I'll end up working with Scary, Drug Accomodating Doc who draws in shocking numbers of drug seekers, up to 80 a day-- patients who shake and tremble and have questionable "back pain" for which they are taking every pain med known to man, in quantities high enough to kill a horse. Eek. (this doc has had TWO seasoned, sassy nurses walk off the job and quit on the spot, right before I was hired. TWO. I had no chance with this guy.)
Kenosha job: completely love my co-workers, love the job-- boss hires 2 new co workers, one whom I adore, one who likes to share her stories of her last suicide attempt and stories of her childhood abuse and likes to tattle and leave work without telling anyone (including the boss, apparently). Then the bomb drops that we will now be working Saturdays, we will all be chemo and PICC trained, and, oh, by the way: your co-worker is crazy and has been trying to get you fired. Bleah.
I keep telling myself that perhaps I should be a stay at home mom, but my husband is the tightest man EVER and i like to spend $$ too much. So there you have it. I'm off to spoil another perfectly nice workplace with my legacy of pain.
Tee hee.
I have to say, tho: I haven't heard so much farting and rectal expelling of fluids in all my life at my new job. I'll just have to get used to it-- and try like heck not to laugh. But it's really hard.
Winter normally drains every last ounce of humanity from me-- generally, I make all sorts of terrible, rash decisions round about now (i..e. pull the kids out of school, put the kids back in school, quit jobs, etc and etc. And it's not nearly the fact that they aren't always the best decisions, but usually the methods I employ are what's regrettable. 'Nuff said). Pharmacologically speaking, I've been well armed this year to keep myself from jumping off the deep end, and I've done ok. Sometimes I do wonder why so much stupid BS happens this time of year (everyone else in the region losing their minds and behaving badly? Probably..) My co-worker at one of my many jobs has been driving me up a tree for really most of the time I've worked with her-- and I do wholeheartedly acknowledge that she is out of her gourd, which is sad (for her, and for everyone around her, unfortunately). But she has been such a royal PITA this past week (on my BIRTHDAY no less), flying off the handle for no apparent reason and not telling what the trouble is (yet feeling compelled to share the info with the boss-- I HATEHATEHATE that crybaby nonsense. Be adult enough to tell a co worker what's going on so it can be rectified directly, instead of running off to tattle. I still have no idea what happened in the rampant hallucinations of her angry mind...)
Anyhoo: it's all well and good that I'm being run off, in the grand scheme of things. I wasn't told in the beginning that I would be expected to work Saturdays (with absolutely no help around. I have no trouble working a weekend now and again, but the safety issue really gets to me), do chemo (with poor folks who so far haven't spoken anything close to english: not even a "no hablo espanol". So far, it's been "no hablo armenian or hmong"-- and I can't come even an iota close to faking my way through THOSE languages. Yeesh.) I'd have to place PICC lines (no freaking way. I see how traumatized those gals look when they come back from putting those monstrosities in), and this constant crazy day shuffling, as if I can't ever know more than a day (hours) in advance whether or not I'll be victim to K's "leaving early today" with no notice (and I seem to keep getting in trouble for that, which is total BS.)
I really like my new position and am looking forward to seeing if they will be able to offer me the .6 position that just came up, but I'm really hoping the "kiss of death" legacy of mine of getting wonderful jobs, only to find they are doomed (through no fault of my own-- really) ends with this Kenosha job.
(case in point, a brief History: All Saints job-- two bosses quit in the months following my hire, and all hell breaks loose. I still have nightmares about that job, where I completely lost my Mojo, which I have spent the past several years trying to recover. fruitlessly.
GTC job: wonderful boss I took the job to work with retires the week before my hire (unbekownst to me). Pandemonium ensues, and morale is shot to hell. Everyone is miserable. Racine AHC: love love love my new job, training is going well on first shift with Wonderful Doc. Soon discover that Wonderful Doc doesn't work the shifts I'll ultimately end up working (weekends, evenings, holidays. Suckity suck enough...), and I'll end up working with Scary, Drug Accomodating Doc who draws in shocking numbers of drug seekers, up to 80 a day-- patients who shake and tremble and have questionable "back pain" for which they are taking every pain med known to man, in quantities high enough to kill a horse. Eek. (this doc has had TWO seasoned, sassy nurses walk off the job and quit on the spot, right before I was hired. TWO. I had no chance with this guy.)
Kenosha job: completely love my co-workers, love the job-- boss hires 2 new co workers, one whom I adore, one who likes to share her stories of her last suicide attempt and stories of her childhood abuse and likes to tattle and leave work without telling anyone (including the boss, apparently). Then the bomb drops that we will now be working Saturdays, we will all be chemo and PICC trained, and, oh, by the way: your co-worker is crazy and has been trying to get you fired. Bleah.
I keep telling myself that perhaps I should be a stay at home mom, but my husband is the tightest man EVER and i like to spend $$ too much. So there you have it. I'm off to spoil another perfectly nice workplace with my legacy of pain.
Tee hee.
I have to say, tho: I haven't heard so much farting and rectal expelling of fluids in all my life at my new job. I'll just have to get used to it-- and try like heck not to laugh. But it's really hard.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Late night drunken ramblings..
Ah! Some time off tomorrow AM, how wonderful! I worked 9.5 hours today, which was nice to make up extra time I won't be getting anymore at the Walk In. I am finally feeling the possibility of detaching somewhat from my kids/husband, that they won't shrivel and die without my constant presence, and it is incredibly liberating.
On the work note:
I'm not used to having clients who "decline" (so to speak), so today was very sad, as I had a frequent flier today who was walking and talking and grumping at me last week, but who couldn't recognize me today. Last week he threatened me with his cane (in a friendly way--- he knows I could take him!), and this week, he's in restraints. It'll take some time to get used to that. Most of my clients are in the last stages of their lives, and I do feel privileged to share this time with them... they are all awesome older adults who have lived incredible lives-- but what I can see most clearly is that in the end, you are all alone, with only yourself to keep entertained with the resources you have. A lot of the folks I see seem relatively disappointed in their families; I don't know-- sometimes I think we invest too much in them, only to be left alone when it really matters. I think if you can draw people to yourself at any stage of your life; random, everyday people-- you will never feel alone. I love to chitty chat with people.
I am so totally going to make these cupcakes for my last day at the Walk In tomorrow (at least for the entire freaking month of FEBRUARY-- I am so bummed!) : http://www.flickr.com/photos/12266682@N00/370089996/
I am always trying to win the staff over with treats, but most all the ladies are among the diet boo- hooers (give it up! you'll never be thin in this occupation!) and rarely eat my amazing confections. Or, they eat one, and cry about how fat they are, instead of lauding what a culinary genius I am (tee hee). bitches.
I could seriously use some chocolate RIGHT NOW, but other than downing 1/4 bag of mini chocolate chips, there isn't much out there. Diet cocoa is good, but only if you make it with milk and eat some chocolate chips first (a good handfull).
On the work note:
I'm not used to having clients who "decline" (so to speak), so today was very sad, as I had a frequent flier today who was walking and talking and grumping at me last week, but who couldn't recognize me today. Last week he threatened me with his cane (in a friendly way--- he knows I could take him!), and this week, he's in restraints. It'll take some time to get used to that. Most of my clients are in the last stages of their lives, and I do feel privileged to share this time with them... they are all awesome older adults who have lived incredible lives-- but what I can see most clearly is that in the end, you are all alone, with only yourself to keep entertained with the resources you have. A lot of the folks I see seem relatively disappointed in their families; I don't know-- sometimes I think we invest too much in them, only to be left alone when it really matters. I think if you can draw people to yourself at any stage of your life; random, everyday people-- you will never feel alone. I love to chitty chat with people.
I am so totally going to make these cupcakes for my last day at the Walk In tomorrow (at least for the entire freaking month of FEBRUARY-- I am so bummed!) : http://www.flickr.com/photos/12266682@N00/370089996/
I am always trying to win the staff over with treats, but most all the ladies are among the diet boo- hooers (give it up! you'll never be thin in this occupation!) and rarely eat my amazing confections. Or, they eat one, and cry about how fat they are, instead of lauding what a culinary genius I am (tee hee). bitches.
I could seriously use some chocolate RIGHT NOW, but other than downing 1/4 bag of mini chocolate chips, there isn't much out there. Diet cocoa is good, but only if you make it with milk and eat some chocolate chips first (a good handfull).
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Dinner Party!
Yes, at the ripe age of 36 (almost 37...), I hosted my first Dinner Party!!!!! In true Cyndi fashion, there was no guest list, no planning-- just the stirrings of an idea before coffee on an early Saturday morning. I called a couple people, had no ideas, mulled it around, and ultimately decided to have a few people over for drinks.
Still no ideas, I putzed around most of the morning, pretty much forgot about it-- didn't hear back from anyone, wasn't sure what was going on... then about 1 pm EVERYone I called said they could come, what was the plan, etc and etc. Whoops!
So at 2pm, I dropped Gracie pants off at her bass lesson, picked up a couple "Everyday Food" magazines from the library (which ROCK, btw), and picked out a few recipes. I still had about 45 minutes to kill, so I ran in to the Pick n Save and started throwing the menus together: Chicken tostadas on white corn tortillas with homemade salsa fresca and salsa verde; a pinto bean, corn, and avocado salad, pea and avocado guac with pita chips, and margaritas. I had no dessert planned, but figured it probably wouldn't be necessary.
About 20 minutes before anyone showed up, I still hadn't showered, I looked a fright-- but I had a dessert epiphany: I would cut up the little cakes I made the other day and had no plans for, make some dark chocolate ganache, cut up some strawberries, and serve it with fresh whipped cream whipped up with some Ghiradhelli cafe mocha powder sort of like a parfait (oh yeah!).
The food was fabulous, the conversation was quite nice, and the dessert was a hit. Wahoo!
I drank perhaps a bit too much, and had a hangover this am. Being the slacker i am, I of course blew off church-- and to illustrate what a bad mom I am: as Jacob #2 was leaving the house with dad en route to Church, he asked why asn't going. So I told him "mommy isn't going to church because she has a hangover". To which Jacob promptly stated that he was going to tell his Sunday School class. Feeling no shame, I replied: "good. maybe they'll pray for me and my hangover will go away quicker."
Still no ideas, I putzed around most of the morning, pretty much forgot about it-- didn't hear back from anyone, wasn't sure what was going on... then about 1 pm EVERYone I called said they could come, what was the plan, etc and etc. Whoops!
So at 2pm, I dropped Gracie pants off at her bass lesson, picked up a couple "Everyday Food" magazines from the library (which ROCK, btw), and picked out a few recipes. I still had about 45 minutes to kill, so I ran in to the Pick n Save and started throwing the menus together: Chicken tostadas on white corn tortillas with homemade salsa fresca and salsa verde; a pinto bean, corn, and avocado salad, pea and avocado guac with pita chips, and margaritas. I had no dessert planned, but figured it probably wouldn't be necessary.
About 20 minutes before anyone showed up, I still hadn't showered, I looked a fright-- but I had a dessert epiphany: I would cut up the little cakes I made the other day and had no plans for, make some dark chocolate ganache, cut up some strawberries, and serve it with fresh whipped cream whipped up with some Ghiradhelli cafe mocha powder sort of like a parfait (oh yeah!).
The food was fabulous, the conversation was quite nice, and the dessert was a hit. Wahoo!
I drank perhaps a bit too much, and had a hangover this am. Being the slacker i am, I of course blew off church-- and to illustrate what a bad mom I am: as Jacob #2 was leaving the house with dad en route to Church, he asked why asn't going. So I told him "mommy isn't going to church because she has a hangover". To which Jacob promptly stated that he was going to tell his Sunday School class. Feeling no shame, I replied: "good. maybe they'll pray for me and my hangover will go away quicker."
One Week Later..
I had really hoped to blog more this week, but life always seems to get in the way... I think mothers tend to run themselves ragged with the best of intentions (whilst the fathers relax on the couch. grr).
Anyhoo, I've been jonesing to get on the blog and write down my thoughts, as if seeing them in print will somehow make them more clear (and more likely to stick to them?)
I was offered another job this week-- one of my (many) pathologies. I love love love to apply for and interview for jobs, esp when I start to get bored/dissatisfied with the one(s) I have. So I work 3-4 jobs, get run down, freak out, melt down, and drop a few of them--only to start back up a few weeks later. I must have worked 13+ days in a row a few times in the last couple months (which really sucked, btw). Do I do it to talk my mind off the doldrums in my life (I hate the Thanksgiving-to-Christmas bleck fest)?
I really need to resolve to make it work with one job, to take ownership of one aspect of the world and master it, once and for all. And just for the record: I'm not so much one to "run" from my problems/conflict, etc, as much as I have an uncanny ability to "detatch" from them and walk away with nary a second thought. (Pathology # 2? Again, one of my favorites!)
Anyhoo, I've been jonesing to get on the blog and write down my thoughts, as if seeing them in print will somehow make them more clear (and more likely to stick to them?)
I was offered another job this week-- one of my (many) pathologies. I love love love to apply for and interview for jobs, esp when I start to get bored/dissatisfied with the one(s) I have. So I work 3-4 jobs, get run down, freak out, melt down, and drop a few of them--only to start back up a few weeks later. I must have worked 13+ days in a row a few times in the last couple months (which really sucked, btw). Do I do it to talk my mind off the doldrums in my life (I hate the Thanksgiving-to-Christmas bleck fest)?
I really need to resolve to make it work with one job, to take ownership of one aspect of the world and master it, once and for all. And just for the record: I'm not so much one to "run" from my problems/conflict, etc, as much as I have an uncanny ability to "detatch" from them and walk away with nary a second thought. (Pathology # 2? Again, one of my favorites!)
Monday, January 15, 2007
Success!
My new spot is really PERFECT for exercising! So no excuses, right? I did 20 minutes of yoga today, which was really cool, and I made sure to take great satisfaction in kicking the dogs out and closing the door (and hide from my husband, who I could peek at from under the curtain while he was busy shoveling outside. I felt so sneaky!).
Today was a FUN day, very productive (only one nap--I love days off!). I spent a good amount of time transferring photos from long-forgotten CF cards, from long forgotten vacations (a la 2005). I'm still not 100% sure about the process, but am not feeling too hopelessly old and out of date;-)
On another note, hubby and I decided last week to dust off an interesting book he got a few years ago in a desperate attempt to rev up our romantic life-- "101 Nights of Grrreat Romance". Of course, being in schlumpy mommy mode several years ago, I spurned the idea of anything associated with more sex... (one suggestion from the book: "Take nude photos of yourself and surprise your lover"-- yipes! As if!) But, now that the kids are older and less able to burn up all available brain cells/energy, it's time to jump back on that horse...
My card I drew for today (you draw secret idea cards, and then have to do what's suggested inside, plus/minus horrifying naked photos) was to serve my guy breakfast in bed, and then stay in bed as long as possible (hubba hubba). Which was all well and good, easy even. I bought a lovely blueberry coffee cake, placed it on a vintage platter and surrounded it with fresh, ripe strawberries. I changed into a nice nightie, took my hubby by the hand, led him into the bedroom............
only to find our dog, happily feasting on the coffe cake. God bless 'im.
Well, we *do* spend more time laughing than staring longingly into each other's eyes, so we had a good laugh (cut the narsty part out of the cake, and we still ate the rest). Welcome to my world...
Today was a FUN day, very productive (only one nap--I love days off!). I spent a good amount of time transferring photos from long-forgotten CF cards, from long forgotten vacations (a la 2005). I'm still not 100% sure about the process, but am not feeling too hopelessly old and out of date;-)
On another note, hubby and I decided last week to dust off an interesting book he got a few years ago in a desperate attempt to rev up our romantic life-- "101 Nights of Grrreat Romance". Of course, being in schlumpy mommy mode several years ago, I spurned the idea of anything associated with more sex... (one suggestion from the book: "Take nude photos of yourself and surprise your lover"-- yipes! As if!) But, now that the kids are older and less able to burn up all available brain cells/energy, it's time to jump back on that horse...
My card I drew for today (you draw secret idea cards, and then have to do what's suggested inside, plus/minus horrifying naked photos) was to serve my guy breakfast in bed, and then stay in bed as long as possible (hubba hubba). Which was all well and good, easy even. I bought a lovely blueberry coffee cake, placed it on a vintage platter and surrounded it with fresh, ripe strawberries. I changed into a nice nightie, took my hubby by the hand, led him into the bedroom............
only to find our dog, happily feasting on the coffe cake. God bless 'im.
Well, we *do* spend more time laughing than staring longingly into each other's eyes, so we had a good laugh (cut the narsty part out of the cake, and we still ate the rest). Welcome to my world...
Enthusiasm.
Of course, it always beging with the best laid plans: as in, I planned to exercise, but am finding myself way too amused by the blog to even start. As in, I entered TWO blog entries today, and will likely promptly forget about it for several weeks (in addition to the exercising. And the dusting of the new computer).
Ohwell. I'll take my enthusiasm where I can find it.
Ohwell. I'll take my enthusiasm where I can find it.
In the Beginning...
Life is good-- I got a new laptop, which launched an incredible spate of cleaning and organizing... amazing how one small addition to your life can create an avalanche in the "To Do" dept. I had to (of course) completely re-assess the space the new computer was going to live-- and when I discovered what a dusty, grimy mess the computer desk was, that was all she wrote. Next thing you know, I'm surrounded by garbage, boxes, knick nacks pulled from shelves, and millions of dustballs. Bleck. It only took all Sunday (minus one short nap) to get it all pulled together. My room looks eerily feng shui, whatever that exactly is...
In any event, the ultimate goal, beyond eliminating gross dustbunnies that keep my nose honking all winter, was to be able to have a space large enough to actually exercise my flabby ass in privacy and comfort. If I try the "Belly Dance" workout in the living room, it becomes great sport of entertainment for my critical children (and smirking husband, who probably doesn't realize the extent that my cellulite really does pucker under pressure. Yuk. Best that remains a mystery...). I also love that I won't be kicking the handrail of the stairs, shoving a dog aside that wants to smell my crotch mid lunge, etc and etc. You see, one of the firm selling points of the laptop, other than the fact that it propels me into the next century (um, the 2000's, which is spiffy) of technology, was that I could watch movies on it-- at camp, while camping, etc and etc. I could hardly believe the other day when i hooked it up that it actually WORKED! (as did the CD burner, which will surely launch me into another tailspin of techno-organization-- photos rotting in the basement and in CF cards, here I come!!!)
I feel as if I am moving in a new direction with my life, and it is good.
In any event, the ultimate goal, beyond eliminating gross dustbunnies that keep my nose honking all winter, was to be able to have a space large enough to actually exercise my flabby ass in privacy and comfort. If I try the "Belly Dance" workout in the living room, it becomes great sport of entertainment for my critical children (and smirking husband, who probably doesn't realize the extent that my cellulite really does pucker under pressure. Yuk. Best that remains a mystery...). I also love that I won't be kicking the handrail of the stairs, shoving a dog aside that wants to smell my crotch mid lunge, etc and etc. You see, one of the firm selling points of the laptop, other than the fact that it propels me into the next century (um, the 2000's, which is spiffy) of technology, was that I could watch movies on it-- at camp, while camping, etc and etc. I could hardly believe the other day when i hooked it up that it actually WORKED! (as did the CD burner, which will surely launch me into another tailspin of techno-organization-- photos rotting in the basement and in CF cards, here I come!!!)
I feel as if I am moving in a new direction with my life, and it is good.
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