Update:

Ok, I've cheated again (altho, considering I'm making this up as I go along, it's really only cheating if I consider it to be, right?): I broke down and ate a Wha Guru chew, which is basically just nuts and agave syrup and wheat germ, and a banana. I suck at starving myself, having exhausted all my willpower in my pre-adolescent annie-rexic stage. (damn!)
I also completely caved and opened a bottle of organic wine I was saving (for just such an occasion, no?). And oooooooh-- the wine really hits you when you're not terribly full..... wheeeeee!

I've been reading a book this evening in my semi-intoxicated state, "The New Work of Dogs"--ironically written by a Mr. John Katz (snort!). His basic premise is that we, in our modern-day isolation, have set up pockets of loneliness that we look to animals to fill.
I could totally relate to that... I have minimal relationships with my family, very few friends that can get together and play, I'm married to an "invisible man" (a la "Deal Breakers"), and my kids aren't too excited to hang with ol' mom these days... so the logical thought, then, is to meet my needs for socialization and intimacy with an animal that can't grow older and tire of my attentions, can't argue with me over finances-- and unless it chews up my favorite shoes, shits on the floor one too many times, or dies unexpectedly, won't disappoint me in ways that humans can oh so easily. Ewwww.... sounds very pathological, yet so very satisfying. And since a dog won't care if I'm CHUBBY or have a second helping of cake, God love 'em, I'm thinking he's spot-on in his analysis.
Now should this information make me feel bad, somehow-- or just enlightened?
I'm not sure.
I've tried for many a year to make friends, work on my relationship with my family, my husband, do fun things with my kids, etc-- and most of my efforts were head banging-ly short of success. Bummer.

Sooooooooo, I've grown weary of trying, and I'm ready for my dog now, please. And maybe a vibrator to go with it, if it's not too much trouble.... (and a snickers bar. and maybe some Taco Bell.... that would be awesome! Thanks.)